Catch 22



Sometimes realizing one dream means sacrificing another. (Chris races Sea Otter spring, 2011)

 The cleaning and clearing out phase is almost over and it used up a lot more money than we had thought. Now we find ourselves stuck and not sure how to move forward. We are caught in an impossible catch 22 situation: we need to make the 58th street house livable before we move into it but we won't have any money until we stop paying rent at the home we are currently at. To do that we have to move into the 58th street house right away. We are stuck.

My husband and I may be inexperienced but we are willing to put in the hard labor. I know we could do this but with no credit there is no way that we can afford all the bare essentials (flooring, replacing broken windows, fixing the electrical, etc.) that we need to get the house in a state where we feel good about moving the kids in.  We have already sold so many of our things to get this far and now my husband (whose one passion in life is cycling) is looking at sell one of his few beloved possessions. He told me today that he was going to sell his bike. The exact words that burst out of my mouth were, "Hell No! you won't!!!" but now as we are getting heavy pressure from our landlady and the rains are coming I am afraid we may have to do just that.

For some folks it may not seem like a big deal ("It's just a bike.") but for my husband cycling is so much more than just "riding a bike". It is a family legacy, a health plan, psychotherapy and his one true joy when everything else becomes too much to bear. He had finally realized his dream to race bicycles last year and was just getting into top form, even starting out this late in life. Seeing how much joy it has given him in the past year has meant so much to me and that is why I had such a strong negative reaction to his statement of selling. He has already given us so much, sacrificed so much for us, I had wanted this one thing for him and now it looks like he will be sacrificing that too. He is out in the garage right now cleaning his bike up to sell. My heart is breaking.

Dawn walks with Chris after Cal Aggie Criterium (late winter 2011)

Link to the craigslist posting for bike: http://sacramento.craigslist.org/bik/2689619736.html